Months have passed since I commented, since I disconnected, not only from social media, but in some ways from the world. Sure, the connection was maintained with the closest circle of friends, but there was something missing, the wider context, the other circles of friends, or acquaintances who could be developing into friends. Has it been this way globally, I wonder? We are encouraged to stay semi-closed, to observe this anti-social distance that has seeped into the collective consciousness. At the same time being appalled and anaesthetised by - and to - shocking images conveyed by the media of the chaos, injustice, and the many ways in which the people and the planet are hurting right now.
I am going to come straight to the point. The point is not fear, the point is, and has always been, love. Some days the love is hard to find when we are in a state of confusion, as we are now; confusion, uncertainty, doubt. All that I commented on before still stands, and seems to be being proven, which goes to show that the veneer is transparent, if to me, then to many.
Here in Peru, we are still under quarantine. While the rest of the world speaks of a second wave, our first wave is still rolling us towards the shore. What shore? The shore of the true self? Somehow I doubt that is the agenda. Here, the term mediaeval comes to mind. The majority of people believe what they are fed by the mass media channels, by the government who they unquestioningly obey, by the general consensus. I am not Peruvian, so I dare not speak for Peruvians, or for Peru: what I do know is that the government line is that Peru will not be safe until every person in the country has been vaccinated. This is a fact stated by the vice-president last week.
What does that mean? That doesn’t sound too positive for the freedom of choice. Sadly, as this pandemic becomes a war of attrition, the will to defend personal and public human rights may become a more grey issue than it was at first. As I mentioned many months ago, this is a process designed to wear down the opposition. It is a classic tactic of the divide and conquer model. As I also mentioned, for those of us who object to such a vaccination, there may well be the caveat imposed that in order to travel a certificate must be produced. Already these measures are coming into play. As there is talk of opening up local international flights, so there is talk of having a test 48 hours before to prove yourself COVID free. Or not. I shall not speak here of the validity of such a test, or what it may mean, I simply do not have the data, this is an opinion piece, not a scientific one. I also do not wish my facts to be checked by an online source and my writing to disappear into the great abyss of censored material. But, what if this is true? We get used to tests, we get used to proving ourselves fit to travel, and then we have to get used to the idea of a vaccination being mandatory in order to travel, for leisure, for pleasure, for personal and familial reasons?
Many years ago, in order to travel to Brazil, it was necessary for me to get a yellow fever vaccination. I did this, and was sick for 3 days. However, that vaccination was not hastily put together in a matter of months, and was proven to successfully vaccinate the person against yellow fever. To my knowledge, there is no such vaccination against any strain of COVID, despite many attempts over many years. COVID19 is a new virus, and a new vaccine has the potential to cause more damage than good. The possible implications of such a mandatory vaccine inspire a wave of indignation in me. I hope and pray that it does not come to this. I do not believe that it is possible for a mandatory vaccination to come into play on a general scale, but with the slight tweak that it is necessary in order to travel, then we agree to forgoe that basic human right for the convenience of the flight. It has been troubling my mind for a while now. I have put up with masks and respiratory complaints, face protectors, washing my hands with antibacterial soap and having my hands and hair sprayed with 96% alcohol when I go to the market, but I cannot in all good conscience imagine that I could comply to the situation this could escalate to. Again, I state that I am trying to not enter into fear, but to find a way to inspire myself to not give in.
It is easy to want to give in, to give up, to please, let us get back to normal. It is easy to feel as this drags on that the best way is to succumb to the pleasures of Netflix and the other tools of distraction, playing an endless waiting game, as we are here in Peru, and in so many other countries. Give us back our freedom, or our illusion of freedom, but at what cost? The cost is the price of a soul. Nobody on the planet wants to be owned. Yet this is the direction we are heading. Some might say that we are already owned. I would disagree. We are owned to the point that we allow it to be that way. No one can own our mind, IF we do not allow it. No one can own our body, IF we do not allow it. And yet, in the midst of all of this, I also hear the quiet call to comply, to make a small sacrifice in order to get my life back. It’s almost too persistent to ignore. Much of my fire and fight was shocked out of me, slowly it returns, but it requires more than me, it requires the strength and support of solidarity.
When I occasionally see images of people in protest around the world, I wonder why the people have not protested here? Is it something in the mentality, an obedience that was inherited from time of the conquistadors, or being used to hierarchal structures of oligarchs and peasants? Again, I am no Peruvian, nor a historian, so I shall speculate no further on the matter. Possibly it could be due to the amount of armed military and police on the streets.
To sum up, this is a war of attrition, a war on consciousness, on civil liberty. Maybe it was not intended to be that way, but that is the way it has shaped up. We cannot ignore the evidence any longer and we cannot comply just to get back to normal. Was it ever normal? Was the destruction of the planet normal? The mass extinction of species normal? The corruption normal? The ‘system’ normal? And yet there is a point at which each one must choose. Wake up or stay asleep. And even after that choice has been made, it must be made again and again. Sometimes it can feel like it’s too much to be awake to all the pain and suffering and injustice in the world and not feel empowered or able to do anything about it. In that case, go back to Netflix, pull the cover over your head and go to sleep. I have tried it. The world is there whenever I wake up. Eventually, waking up wins. Evolve or die. Stand up. Better still, join together and stand together. Alone, we are easy prey. Together we are a tough nut to crack.
I am going to outline it in black and white, for myself as much as any other. Each and every person living on the planet is a free and autonomous individual, free to choose what is best for themselves. Free to think for themselves. Free to subscribe to the narrative that they wish. That doesn’t mean that all thoughts and acts, narratives and stories are necessarily healthy, positive or in their best interests even, just that there is an inherent freedom that ought to come with being human. These narratives and stories are there to be questioned. Some embrace this, others prefer to be led. There comes a time for each and everyone in which they have to choose for themsleves. To ask the question, who does this serve. And, more importantly, does it serve?
We are crossing an important time in the life of the planet. It could be said that every time is important for the planet, but here and now, with this many people living in this way, with the environmental issues that we are facing, this time is the time, as it always is. In this time of COVID19, it can become easy to forget the bigger issues at hand, those that somehow seem to be being ignored or swept under the rug as we struggle to adapt to the idiocracy that is being forced upon us. We are suffering, as a planet and as a people. It is no surprise that thinly veiled structures of a degrading system are being challenged and seen in a more obvious light. Yet, there is a call to business as usual.
Here in Peru, the media line is that Peru is doing well, economically, financially improving, and vigilance is propagated. As long as the institutional structures survive, then all will be well. The government knows what is best for the country, for the people, and the people should trust them. There is little to no reporting of depression, suicide, loss of faith in life attributed to COVID19 and the impositions enforced on the people. Yet this is global, a general malaise that seems to be affecting many people that I speak to in many countries. Worse still, that we become accustomed to feeling this way. One of the primary effects of COVID19, for me, after the initial novelty wore off, was one of a sense of disempowerment, I think many of us can relate to that. It has been an ongoing story, to regain that power in the face of continued restrictions, lack of contact, lack of freedom to meet, to celebrate, to communicate in person, to embrace, to hug, to touch. There is only so much Zooming I can do until I pass over the hill of happiness and wellbeing and start to downward slope into sadness and mild depression that it has to be this way. Somedays it feels worse to connect through Zoom than to not connect at all.
The high hopes that this was to be a time of global awakening and enhanced environmental awareness are behind me now. I dreamed a dream in March, at the beginning of the lockdown that the effects on the environment of the lockdown would be overall positive, that the Mama Earth would be happier, that the waters would be clearer, the air cleaner, and a more sustainable life would be the overall outcome on a global scale. Sure, the waters became clearer, for a while. The air became cleaner, for a while. And, yes, there is a rising tide of people growing more food for themselves and raising animals (especially chickens), here in Peru, at least. But, factor in all the chemical cleansers being used now, the increase in use of alcohol, hand sanitiser, soaps, face masks, etcetera… on a global scale, and I don’t see a better outcome, I see more plastic, certainly in and around my own life. And what for the people who cannot go back to the land? Are we in a strange survival mode now? One in which we do what we have to in order to survive and we think less of the long-term consequences? I feel that maybe there has been a shift towards this.
The human spirit can be bruised and broken. I cannot predict the long term consequences of this time for us as a species, possibly it will be a blip on the radar, but possibly, it will be more or less. That is why I remind myself that I am a free individual, my authority lies with me, that yours lies with you. That we each have a responsibility to cultivate and care for our own spirit in this time, and at all times. Prolonged suppression of the spirit leads to serious mental health issues, including the full spectrum of depression. To live in a depressed state for any period of time is unhealthy. This is not being addressed well enough, in my opinion. Yes, occasionally we read statistics of cases of depression and suicide, of young people feeling like they lost their future already, but we are becoming very used to being able to read and recite statistics without any empathic feeling, or as if it were not related to us, directly. And then, to forget about them. What, suddenly a vaccine appears and the world goes back to normal? I don’t think so. Do you?
Will the world as we know it reshape itself of its own accord? The simple answer is no. The world requires us to reshape ourselves, and it. To use our creativity and our voice, our love of life to show the way forwards. It may not be the most simple of tasks, but it’s the only one worth doing right now. Or we can sit and wait, accept the bait, swallow the pill and believe that it wasn’t our fight in the first place. Who can we put our faith in if not ourselves, our friends, family, community?
It’s only as a community that we stand a chance to change the way in which we live. You can call it a community, you can call it a village, you can call it the world, but action is required if we are to not be a passive bystander in what has become the game of life. We are not pawns in a game. We are kings and queens, potentially - but preferably not the despotic tyrannical type. We may not have the money or the power, but we have sovereign authority given to us by the creator or creators. The creator (s) did not make one man less than another. Man did that. For too long there has been a residue of bullshit smeared on the window of life. In the old days it was called the divine right of kings, and other such names. But for several 1000 years enlightened men and women have been saying, I am the son or daughter of God, and so are you. I have faith that things can change. Maybe not in my lifetime, but that’s ok. All the work done now is not for us anyway, it never was, and it never will be. We are a work in process, just a stepping stone in the evolution of our species, yet each generation shapes the next, shapes the future by the actions of the present, done with awareness of the past. This is the obligation of our life. Or we can do what we are doing, get on with it, wait it out. For me, I have noticed the proclivity to filling time, a waiting game that has set in. Until what? Until suddenly the virus is gone? Again, I don’t think so. So, why wait, and what for? This virus is literally stealing days, weeks, months of our lives, if we allow it. It is also an opportunity for creativity to rise. It has raised the question of how time is valued and used. I know this from the months I was ‘stuck’ in the jungle awaiting news of when I may be able to fly back to the mountains, to my house. Let alone to fly onwards to another side of life. Over time, apathy can set in, and apathy is a killer of the spirit. Place this into a prolonged context and we see what we are seeing now, I hear what I am hearing from friends all over the world. Apathy and lack of motivation. These friends have, like me, suffered from a lack of motivation due to the uncertainty that is prevalent right here, right now in these circumstances. It’s easy to say, dig in and dig deep, find the creativity, the motivation and stand up, but this can be different in this time. Add to that the enforced separation and general unease that pervades the social atmosphere (of the biosphere), and we encounter something new. For sure, every generation has its thing, whether it’s a war, a revolution etc., but this is rather new to us. Never before in human history has such an event taken place, never before have we been so isolated and at the same time so able to be pacified or comforted by a virtual reality, a computer, a phone, a tablet, a TV. I would think that our reliance on our devices has risen exponentially in recent months, and this habit will be hard to kick. I can’t enter this topic too deeply now as it will screw my mind into a strange shape. Do you know that I only know a handful of people in this world who have no cell phone ( and that I have lost contact with most of them :))?
I dream of not having one, but I realised long ago this is just a dream. But I also dream a different dream. A dream of not needing one. A dream of living in a close and open community in which daily life is not dependent on the outside world. Of course, it’s a dream, but there is a sliver of possibility in there somewhere.